Hey guys, I was wondering, I have a question for all my watchers...

Would you guys hate me if I lied...If I wasn't Kristian Minx, but a normal girl, living with her grandfather, because her mother, was abusive to her when she was young, but her mother died when she was 8 of overdose? And didn't see her father because he threaten to hurt me twice, and won't admit it? Now living with her grandfather because her grandmother died this past Janauary? Would you hate me for that? To hide the fact of who I really am, because you might think I'm emotional or weird? To hide who I really am, because my grandmother thought it was safer to make an alias than to put myself in the world? Would you guys hate me?


Pls leave you comment at the end, this journal could mean a big change or nothing, it depends on your answers.

Yeah, my cpu is acting like a completle female dog. Pardon my lang. But yeah I might not be on as much as I always am, like every other moment I have free. *cries* I'm missing my friends already. I'll hopefully have lots of stuff up, when my cpu is all fixed up.

To the contest thingy from a while back....the winner is *drum rolls* Sonamyluffer6 I'm so proud of her. *hugs you big times* You win a free commishion done by moi, aka me. lol Just send me a comment on what you want, deary. You earned it, poem, drawing, or even if I work real hard, maybe a flash. ^^ And for second place, is *duh duh damn* lol KevoDevo Congrats you get a internet huggie *hugs KevoDevo* ^^ Thanks for the peoples who tried and did well. I'm proud to have read your thingys.

This month, I do have a new contest and this time people need to answer the question below the best they can, and whoever has the best answer, will win. The prize this time is *another drum roll* a pass of three free commishions It could be poems, pictures, or even (but pls don't kill me with them) flashes.

"What if you woke up, finding yourself to be the oppisite sex???? If your a girl, how would you look, act, and do you think you'd go bonkers being a guy for a whole day? Do you think you'd look better as a guy or a girl?

If your a guy, how would you look, act, and do you think you'd lose your mind, being a girl for more than an hour? Would you prefer to be a girl the rest of your life or be the guy you once were?"

Well, I'll keep this up for...a month or two, and see who has the best entry. And then I'll put up who won from that. So pls try your best and do your best, ppls. ^^ I wish you all a good day, and I hope my cpu will be back to normal after a while, after my Uncle takes a look at it Tommrow. If I'm not on later tommrow, blame him and..... If that's the case... I'll miss you guys longer!!!!!

Yesterday I said this...

I looked over my poetry, after the big breakup of me and my Zander today, on his birthday I might add. I hope after writing some poetry, Zander will understand, I will never stop loving him. I just can't give up, and I won't, not till we finally meet. I'll have some poems up and I hope you will all understand how strong my love is to him, I would die for him, and I wouldn't hesistate on giving my heart and soul to him. Because his hands hold my fragile heart, no matter if his is not in mine. I will love him till my dying breath, whenever that is. I just love him with all my heart, and I don't know how my heart will take this. I know I will not forget this day ever, *a tear runs down my eye* I hope Zander understands, I'm not kidding when I'm broken without him...I made a mistake and I will regret it everyday. Because I'm without the one person I truly love in this entire world...


Today, things have changed, and I'm not without him. I'm fine. We both have decided to love each other, just not online dating, it hurts us both too much. Once he finally comes up here to meet me, we will date each other, because we do love each other very very much. If anyone wants to bad mouth him, don't you dare, he is my love. I love him with all my heart, and he loves me so damn much. We both adore each other, and when you love like we do, you go thru problems, but we can get thru them together. Just forget I kinda did this, he's still my baby, and I'm still his girl lol. ^^ Just not online dating wise. lol ^^ ok??? So pls no bad mouthing at all. I'm in a good mood now. ^^

ALSO HAPPY BELATED BDAY BABY!!! I SENT YOU UR BDAY GIFTY!!!! lol YOUR 19 YAY!!!!!!!! lol ONLY 9 MONTHS TILL MY BDAY!!! I"LL BE 18!!! YAY!!!! Anyway, nighty nighty!

Happy Valentines Day!!!!!!!!

It's a wonderful day today, I'm happy, and no one can ruin that for me. I've been dating my boyfriend for now ten months today, no joke. Our ten month-versary is today, on Valentines Day. (Two more months till a whole year of being together) I fell for him when I was 14, when I found him online in a small chatroom. I loved him from that very day in July of 07, and he means everything to me. He's everything I ever wanted and I adore him. He means everything to me. Zander is my baby, my love, my boyfriend, and my little angel. I know my baby is the one to be with for as long as I live. I love my baby, Zbear. ^^

HAPPY 10 MONTHVERSARY BABY!!!!!!

………………..
…………………*………………...
...…………**…………..
..**……….*….*……..**
….*..*…..*…..*….*..*
……*…..*……….*.....*
……************……….
……..*..lovel…*
…..*..lovelovelo…*
…*..lovelovelove….*
..*.lovelovelovelove…*…………….*….*
.*..lovelovelovelovelo…*………*..lovel….*
*..lovelovelovelovelove…*….*…lovelovel…
*.. lovelovelovelovelove…*….*…lovelovelo.*
.*..lovelovelovelovelove…*..*…lovelove…
..*…lovelovelovelovelove..*…lovelovelo…
…*….lovelovelolovelovelovelovelovelo…*
…..*….lovelovelovelovelovelovelov…*
……..*….lovelovelovelovelovelo…*
………..*….lovelovelovelove…*
……………*…lovelovelo….*
………………*..lovelo

I miss my grandmother more than ever. It's been more than a month since she died, but I feel like it was just yesterday, I saw her smile and heard her, "Wake up Petal. Time to get up." kissing my forehead, and saying she loved me. *cries* I miss her so damn bad, I'm sobbing as I type this, trying not to bother my grandfather. But anyway....

I wanted to mention, my exfriend, whom I mentioned in an old journal, is trying to be my friend again. And I don't want that because, she doesn't and will never be trusted as she used to be. In my heart, she was my sister, so close....but I was blind...and now I'm keeping her at a distance, is that so bad. She hurt me, and when I was still healing and now hurting from the death of my grandmother, she talked about him like it was already water under the bridge, like she was still my friend and I had already forgiven her and fogotten him. That was one of the lowest things, she could have asked me first before talking about him, but no. I wasn't happy to just fake smile her, and fake smile my pain, I'm tired of doing that. She'll have to get used to being away from me, because it's gonna be a long time, before I can even accept her as a friend.


That is my truth, and I wish Nana was here to help me. *cries*